You're Watching MTV...er...ABC

The temperature is hot outside, but it is even hotter at One Ocean View!

...At least that's what ABC wants you to think. One Ocean View is one part Real World - San Diego (which of course in German means a whale's vagina) and one part Real World - New York, all of which adds up to something that you swear should be on MTV but somehow has ended up on ABC.

Yes, that's right, the network that brought you American Inventor, Dancing with the Stars, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Hope & Faith, America's Funniest Home Videos and Supernanny now brings you sex, seduction, vanity, and an unwillingness to grow up on the beaches and streets of New York.

I mean just think about it...who wouldn't want to watch 11 really, really ridiculously good looking 20-somethings parade off to a beach every weekend for some fun in the sun after their weekday sex in the city dries up? Nobody! That's who. Now, take that, a handful of petty problems, infighting, and a splash of sex and you have summer's hottest new show. Thus you can see the genius of One Ocean View.

I'll admit it -- I used to like shows like The Real World. I really liked it back when they had to go off and get their own jobs, not just an MTV-arranged dream job that they always ended up bitching about. But this seems to cross a line.

Maybe I'm old school, but I still think that America's major networks should be airing some sort of quality entertainment, rather than a cable TV-quality placeholder for commerials. (I actually saw an ad for Now That's What I Call Music! 22 in primetime on ABC during One Ocean View. How 1:17 a.m. on MTV2 is that?)

Note to readers: I'm getting a lot of folks faxing comments to me taking issue with my use of 'networks' and 'quality' entertainment. They're citing According to Jim. My readers are correct, I clearly used those terms too loosely, as network TV is not always quality, and when it is, sometimes it does not always get the support it deserves. (See: Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared). I will use 'quality' with great care in the future so long as Jim and Two and a Half Men remain on the air.