Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Trouble With Da Bears Ticker (And No, We're Not Talking a Heart Attack)

The Superfans must be watching Channel 5...

Chicago Tribune:

WBBM resets Bears clock after complaints

WBBM-Ch. 2 found out the hard way that, contrary to conventional wisdom, it is possible for a Chicago media outlet to overdo this whole Super Bowl thing.

Channel 2 on Sunday night squeezed a blue-and-orange countdown clock into a corner of the screen to show the days, hours and minutes remaining until the Chicago Bears meet the Indianapolis Colts in Miami. Turns out, this was a bad idea.

The time ticked away.

The audience got ticked off.

"We were bombarded by viewers who said it was annoying, it was distracting," Channel 2 news boss Carol Fowler said. "It wasn't appreciated by people watching the Hallmark movie of the week."

Somehow, these people already were aware the Bears have a big game Sunday--on WBBM, as luck would have it--and felt the clutter of a clock wasn't necessary. So, by midmorning Monday, after more than half a day on the air, the station had removed it from all network programming.

Channel 2's countdown clock still will run during all local newscasts (save for weather segments, when the station has determined it clashes with all the other graphics), all its Bears Super Bowl specials and for 30 seconds at the top and bottom of the hour during syndicated programs, such as "Dr. Phil" and "Rachael Ray."

But you no longer have to be a clock watcher while viewing "As the World Turns," "Numb3rs," Katie Couric or "Late Show With David Letterman."

"We listen to people, and we don't want to make more enemies than friends here," Fowler said.
No word yet on whether Channel 2 will post a "Countdown to Griese" clock if Grossman has a bad first half.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

The Search for an American President -- Case Study: John McCain

The 2008 presidential election is -- whether you're ready for it or not -- in full swing. And, with no incumbent president or vice president-running-for-president in the field, the list of potential nominees for both parties is littered with candidates ranging from household names, to names that might not even be recognized in their home states.

It is a great time for politics.

While it is true that all politics are local, and the actions of your local mayor often have a bigger impact in your life than those of a president, there is no office in the world with which we entrust our hopes and dreams more than that of the presidency.

We want presidents to show us big challenges and define bigger answers. We want presidents who believe in us more than we believe in ourselves. We want presidents who embody the very best of who we are as Americans, not our very worst. We want presidents whom we know will leave the world a little bit better for our children simply because we found it in ourselves to trust in them and their vision for America.

And it is because the presidency carries with it such a spiritual connection with who we are as a people that we can and should take the time to put any candidate for that office through the wringer.

Presidential candidates should be forced to prove to us that they care about our families as much as we do; that they understand what it means to not have health care; that they know how our energy consumption patterns are at odds with the scarcity of fossil fuels; that they too can relate to the fear of going to work one day, not knowing if the forces of globalization will force you to look for new employment the next.

This is what we can and should get to know about our candidates -- that they "get" us, and, in turn, that we "get" them. Not that we always have to agree with them, but that at the end of the day we want to know that they are pushing this country in a direction that we understand to be good, just, and fair.

That's what we should be evaluating. But we aren't.

Instead we (the media/public) are lurking in a murky, ethical abyss -- a place where we don't know where to draw the line, and as a result end up obliterating any chance we have of actually getting to know our would-be presidents as people.

The problem now is that candidates think they are doing us a favor (or at least doing what they think is necessary to attain 270 electoral votes) by attempting to appeal to our schizophrenic evaluation criteria -- criteria that in their present form are completely unable to separate the sexual weaknesses of a person from the responsibilities of the office; or the errors of youth from disqualifying errors of judgement; or the evolution of one's voting record, from election year flip-flopping.

And what do we get because of our failure as a citizenry to be critical, impartial, human, and fair? Over-programmed, cookie cutter candidates, who at one time might have been able to inspire us with their realism, but now bore use with catch phrases and jargon. We get empty vessels; completely unable to arrive at an opinion until it has been focus grouped and validated in each of the early primary states by the candidate's Frank Luntz-of-the-moment pollster.

We get watered drown drivel.

We get John McCain 2007 vs. John McCain 2000.

And it is in this fact that we see the true heartbreak of modern American politics.

John McCain in the 2000 presidential primary was a son-of-a-gun who told us what we needed to know, not what we wanted to hear. He was Mr. Straight Talk, and that wasn't a campaign creation -- it was true.

McCain 2000 rode into each town on the Straight Talk Express bus, the closest thing any modern campaign has had to a "no-spin zone," delivering real answers that won him the title of media darling and ogling from 20-something buzz-maker The Daily Show.

Fast forward seven years, and we have a stiff McCain appearing on Meet the Press. We have a McCain who is hob-nobbing with the same folks that he called out during his first presidential run. We have a McCain who is...well, the very opposite of the guy who became a favorite amongst moderates, college students, and the politically weary.

Vanity Fair
magazine traveled with McCain and reported on what can -- in the eye of one searching for authenticity -- only be read as the devolution of the candidate.

Vanity Fair, February '07 issue, page 3 of online article:

But the plain truth is that the Straight Talk Express, Version 2.008, is often a far cry from the Magic Bus of 2000.

"Let me give you a little straight talk," McCain tells the crowd at a house-party fund-raiser in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, for Senator John Thune, the Christian conservative and self-styled "servant leader" who defeated the Senate's Democratic leader, Tom Daschle, in 2004. The minute Thune was elected, McCain says, he became an important figure in the Republican Party and the Senate.

That's not straight talk. That's partisan pap. Nor, presumably, was it straight talk last summer at an Aspen Institute discussion when McCain struggled to articulate his position on the teaching of intelligent design in public schools. At first, according to two people who were present, McCain said he believed that intelligent design, which proponents portray as a more intellectually respectable version of biblical creationism, should be taught in science classes. But then, in the face of intense skepticism from his listeners, he kept modifying his views—going into reverse evolution.

"Yes, he's a social conservative, but his heart isn't in this stuff," one former aide told me, referring to McCain's instinctual unwillingness to impose on others his personal views about issues such as religion, sexuality, and abortion. "But he has to pretend [that it is], and he's not a good enough actor to pull it off. He just can't fake it well enough."

When it comes to the rough-and-tumble of practical politics, as opposed to battles over political principle, McCain's apparent compromises are just as striking. Six years ago, McCain was livid when Sam and Charles Wyly, a pair of Texas businessmen friendly with the Bush campaign, spent $2.5 million on a nominally independent advertising effort attacking McCain. He called them "Wyly coyotes," and implored an audience in Boston to "tell them to keep their dirty money in the state of Texas." This time, McCain accepted money from the Wylys. The Wylys gave McCain's Straight Talk America political-action committee at least $20,000, and together with other family members and friends they chaired a Dallas fund-raiser for the pac. (The Wyly money was later returned because the brothers have become the subject of a federal investigation.) In 2000, McCain denounced the Reverend Jerry Falwell—and others like him—as "agents of intolerance." Last spring McCain gave the commencement address at Falwell's Liberty University.

Two years ago, McCain was unsparing in his criticism of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, who slimed his friend and fellow Vietnam veteran John Kerry. Kerry felt close enough to McCain at the time to make multiple and serious inquiries about McCain's interest in running for vice president on a national-unity ticket (and McCain basked in the courtship, even if he knew nothing could ever come of it). So the alacrity with which McCain joined in demanding an apology from Kerry—whose "botched joke" last fall about George Bush's intellect came out as a slur against American troops in Iraq—was surprising, if not unseemly. Once upon a time, the two friends would have talked about the issue privately, and McCain might well have given Kerry his frank advice. As of mid-November, they had not spoken since McCain's statement condemning Kerry's "insensitive, ill-considered, and uninformed remarks"—which McCain once again read from a piece of paper, by the way. When I asked McCain if he thought Kerry was really trying to insult the troops, he answered only indirectly, and with some annoyance: "I accepted it when he said, 'I botched a joke,' O.K.?"
At its core, the appeal of the "straight talk" is that we feel like we don't have to scrutinize and parse every word the candidate says.

That McCain has gone away, and we are left with a McCain that is rebranding himself to better appeal to his target demographic, the wealthy Republican mega-donor. Lost in this transition (from the sounds of this) is the call-it-as-I-see-it McCain, leaving us with the one who is willing to distance himself from his friend John Kerry for a shot at the Oval Office.

Strategically all of these moves are defensible, but the "gut" that McCain once played so well to now finds itself queasy and upset by his attempts to reach out to the grassroots of the Republican party -- an apparatus that certainly wasn't reaching out to him in 2000.

Vanity Fair, page 4 of online article:
The battle between Bush and McCain in 2000 was bitter, with Bush supporters in South Carolina spreading rumors that McCain was insane and that he had fathered a black child. (McCain and his wife, Cindy, are the adoptive parents of a girl from Bangladesh.) Bush and McCain traded insults involving each other's moral standing. A year later, with bad feeling still so high that strategist John Weaver had been virtually blackballed from working in Republican politics, Weaver went so far as to sound out Democratic Senate leaders about the possibility of having McCain caucus with them. This would have put the Senate, then divided 50–50, into Democratic control. Aides to two senior Senate Democrats say it was never clear how serious McCain himself was about the proposal, and any possibility that it might actually happen was short-circuited when another Republican, James Jeffords, of Vermont, made the move first, in 2001.

That was then, when memories of the Bush camp's gruesome, dishonest attacks on McCain were still fresh. When I asked McCain how a rapprochement with Bush could ever have been achieved, he began by saying, "For 10 days I wallowed," then made it clear that the best balm was his realization that the campaign had raised his stature. "We came out of the campaign, even though losing, enhanced nationally, with a lot of opportunities in the Senate legislatively, with more influence, and eventually, if necessary, to be able to go at it again." Whatever the psychic or political specifics, the ultimate result was the celebrated McCain-Bush campaign hug of 2004, in which McCain found himself enveloped in a back-wrapping embrace and upside-the-head smooch. Since that moment McCain has borrowed from the Bush political playbook, aiming to make himself the prohibitive front-runner for the 2008 primaries, and happily snapping up former Bush aides and supporters from key states such as Iowa and New Hampshire, including Terry Nelson, an Iowan and political director of the 2004 Bush campaign. Nelson, now a private consultant in Washington, approved the most widely condemned negative ad of the 2006 midterms, produced by a quasi-independent group financed by the Republican National Committee and aimed at the black Democratic Senate candidate in Tennessee, Harold Ford Jr. In the ad, a sultry white actress says she had once met Mr. Ford at a "Playboy party," then cradles her outstretched thumb and little finger to her ear and coos, "Harold, call me." After the ad sparked an uproar it was taken off the air. Given the racially charged campaign of innuendo deployed against McCain by Bush supporters six years ago, and McCain's outrage at such tactics, the McCain camp's failure to condemn Nelson or the ad struck many as surprising. All John Weaver managed to say at the time was "We're pleased the ad has been pulled down." Nelson is set to manage McCain's '08 campaign.
The question the observer searching for the authentic individual must ask is, "why?"

John McCain is a genuine war hero -- one whose credentials and love of country should be unquestionable. Why the need to mess with the straight talk chemistry and begin beefing up his campaign staff with Bush ex-patriots?

McCain 2000 was an attractive tale because he was the underdog -- the guy who you root for in the sitcom to get the girl instead of the GQ-esque main character. Oddly McCain, without the GQ looks, now finds himself cast as the main character. To date, his performance has been a bit like watching a TV spin-off. You remember you liked Joey on Friends, and he's the same guy, but something just isn't adding up when he's on his own show -- that's McCain 2008.

What remains to be seen in McCain 2008 is whether it is possible to let people on to the Straight Talk Express bus without ruining its essence.

Vanity Fair, page 10 of online article:
At the freshman convocation at Boston College this fall, McCain concluded his talk with a powerful warning about the costs of compromising one's highest ideals.

"Very far from here and long ago, I served with men of extraordinary character, honorable men, strong, principled, wise, compassionate, and loving men," McCain told the students. "Better men than I, in more ways than I can number.… Some of them were beaten terribly, and worse. Some were killed.… Most often, they were tortured to compel them to make statements criticizing our country and the cause we had been asked to serve. Many times, their captors would briefly suspend the torture and try to persuade them to make a statement by promising that no one would hear what they said, or know that they had sacrificed their convictions. Just say it and we will spare you any more pain, they promised, and no one, no one, will know. But the men I had the honor of serving with always had the same response, 'I will know. I will know.'

"I wish that you always hear the voice in your own heart, when you face hard decisions in your life, to hear it say to you, again and again, until it drowns out every other thought: 'I will know. I will know. I will know.'"

McCain's own compromises in pursuit of the presidency may be necessary, even justified. And they may, in fact, pave his way to victory in the Republican primaries, and perhaps to the White House itself. But even if no one calls him out, and the public plays along, McCain may pay an awful price. Because, whatever happens, he will know. He will know. He will know.
The doors to the bus have opened to many of the very same people the Straight Talk Express was running down just seven years ago.

What we deserve to know is whether the real John McCain got off the bus during one of those stops.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Letterman: Top Ten Questions to Ask Yourself Before Buying the 108-Inch Television

From the Late Show Web site:

10. "Do I want the neighbors to know that I watch 'Maury'?"
9. "Will I finally see all the rich detail I've been missing in 'According to Jim'?"
8. "Is my living room roughly the size of Yankee Stadium?"
7. "Will a 108-inch Wolf Blitzer scare the dog?"
6. "Do I really need to spend ten grand to watch 'Judge Joe Brown'?"
5. "Are these the same bastards that sold me that 108-inch toaster?"
4. "Do I need a television that weighs more than I do?"
3. "What do I do with my old 103-inch television"?
2. "If I don't buy it, do the terrorists win?"
1. "Can I still get the 'Late Show' in low-definition?"
Click link to watch the list.

Superfans

In honor of Da Bears playing for the right to go to the Super Bowl tomorrow, and as a sort of reconciliation for the prediction that da Bears would be one-and-done in the playoffs, the editorial staff is proud to present this classic Superfans moment.

Monday, January 15, 2007

GPS by HAL

Reuters:

A 46-year-old German motorist driving along a busy road suddenly veered to the left and ended up stuck on a railway track -- because his satellite navigation system told him to, police said on Sunday.

The motorist was heading into the north German city of Bremen "when the friendly voice from his satnav told him to turn left," a spokesman said.

"He did what he was ordered to do and turned his Audi left up over the curb and onto the track of a local streetcar line. He tried to back up off the track but got completely stuck."

...Several German motorists have crashed their cars in recent months, later telling police they were only obeying orders from their satnavs.

Martin Luther King Day













"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

-- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (1963)

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Must...Buy...iPhone

A Spaulding reader recently told a member of the editorial staff that the iPhone "sucks." Watch this video and tell us what "sucks."



If by "sucks" you mean is "ridiculously cool and something that inspires techno lust," then yes, the iPhone sucks.

Friday, January 12, 2007

It's No iPhone, but a Conversation Starter Nonetheless

Reuters:

The Fish 'n Flush is a clear two-piece toilet tank that replaces a standard toilet tank, with a see-through aquarium wrapping itself around a conventional toilet tank.

...The aquarium toilet tank, which sells for $299 (155 pounds), fits most toilets with the 2.2-gallon aquarium piece able to be easily removed for cleaning. The toilet tank itself holds 2.5 gallons which gives sufficient pressure for flushing.

"Some people think we're nuts but other just love it and parents are using it to help their children with potty training. One thing you can guarantee is that people will be talking about it after seeing it in your home," said Niccole.
(Fish toilet photo, here).

Not for me, thanks.

I'll take an iPhone and a Wii -- in that order. Well, maybe not that exact order...the iPhone isn't out until June...

Oh, and did you know the iPhone can display fish too? I'd much rather stare at the iPhone while sitting on the can.

YouTube

I've run into YouTube being down for scheduled maintenance on two separate occasions during what is (roughly) the midnight hour. Wouldn't that be when YouTube is the most busy? Seems that scheduled downtime would be more appropriate around 5 a.m. After all, what self-respecting, Mountain Dew drinking, TiVo-ing high school or college student is up at that hour?

...Guess I didn't realize that Chad Vader's fans are morning people.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Round 7: Barbara Weighs In

Show of hands for everyone who is tiring of the Rosie-Trump feud...

Yep, that's what I thought.

The whole thing -- which started off as mildly shocking and wildly entertaining celebrity banter has devolved into a rather lame situation where Trump keeps repeating his same five "Rosie is stupid" talking points while Rosie pretends she doesn't care, but actually ends up getting The Donald revved up for more -- has grown tired.

The saga continued Wednesday on The View where, it seems, Rosie and Barbara Walters tried to put the whole thing behind themselves.



We'll see if Donald retaliates (I'm guessing the characterization of The Apprentice "tanking" will catch his ear), but for now I think everyone except the Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood producers are ready for this one to be over.

Round 6: Fear the Letterhead

The Trump-Rosie feud continues, but it seems like Trump is the only one throwing punches.

The latest? An odd letter to Rosie, signed by The Donald, printed on "The Trump Organization" letterhead.

In part, it reads:

Barbara [Walters] called me from her vacation (I did not call her) in order to apologize for your behavior. She had heard that I was going to retaliate against you and tried to talk me out of it.

...To be exact, she said that "working with her is like living in hell" and, more pointedly, "Donald, never get into the mud with pigs" and "don't worry, she won't be here for long."
One can't help but think that we are about a week or two away from Trump asking his contestants on The Apprentice to work on a challenge that hones the vital business skill of lashing out at a celebrity.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Florida 41, Ohio State 14

On behalf of the entire Big 10 Conference, thanks a lot Ohio State. Looks like we'll have to endure another year of some Bowden offspring with a heavy southern drawl blathering on and on about how great football is in the south. That'll be fun.

The thing is, if you are The Ohio State University you had to know that your team had no shot at winning when they went into the locker room at halftime down by 20 and the self-entitled "Best Damn Band In The Land" came on the field to play My Heart Will Go On.

The theme song from Titanic?!? Is this how the State of Ohio gets ready for a comeback? If so, I don't think the Titanic is exactly a good point of reference. They must have realized that by halftime Ohio State's national championship dreams had already hit an iceberg. The rest of the game was a formality. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Nike already had championship t-shirts on store shelves in Gainesville before the confetti fell on the field.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Da Bears

File this under "predictions that will probably make the editorial staff look silly:"

The Chicago Bears will be one-and-done in the playoffs.

Grossman hasn't shown any consistency lately and the defense -- while still formidable -- is not as strong as it was earlier in the year. This is to say nothing of the fact that the bye week might not be what the team needs. Do you really want Rex to turn his brain off for that long?

We'll see if Da Bears can prove Spaulding wrong, but I'm guessing that in a few weeks when we talk about Da Bears we shant say who won.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Weigh in on Da Bears debate in the Spauld-pinion Poll on the right-hand sidebar of this blog. Hurry, poll ends on Friday, January 12, 2007.

Madden Discusses Brett Favre, His Pick for Super Bowl Winner

Tommy Thompson: Master of Modesty

Former Wisconsin Governor Tommy Thompson officially launched his presidential exploratory committee this week, and sized up his chances for the press.

Des Moines Register (1/4/07):

"I'm the only farmer in the group," he said. "I'm the only one that rides motorcycles."

Friday, January 05, 2007

"Hogzilla"

A wild hog weighing 1,100 pounds was shot and killed in northern Georgia. They're calling it "Hogzilla."

Pictures? Oh, sure, they're right here.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Round 5: Trump Tag Team

If you weren't watching the Today Show this morning you missed some good a.m. TV.

Donald Trump, along with his daughter Ivanka, were on the show to promote the upcoming season of The Apprentice. Naturally, the Rosie O'Donnell feud came up and Trump came out swinging. And just when you thought this celebrity feud couldn't get any more Best Week Ever-ready, it did -- the Trumps went tag team.

Wham! The Donald! Biff! Ivanka!

It got ugly.



I know Rosie is the Spaulding reader's choice for the ultimate winner of this battle royale, but the editorial staff is more confident than ever that Rosie will take the high road and we will have no choice but to declare The Donald the official winner.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

In Touch With the Common Man

Editor & Publisher keenly points out President Bush's op-ed today in which he details ways Republicans and Democrats can work together wasn't exactly published in the most accessible place, that being the Wall Street Journal. Yes, that Wall Street Journal -- as in the paper you're highly unlikely to subscribe to if you don't have a reserved parking place and personal assistant at your office.

E&P writes:

Addressed to the new Democratic-led Congress, it called -- not surprisingly -- for a bi-partisan approach largely lacking in the previous GOP-led bodies. Oddly, he chose the venue of the major newspaper with the most conservative editorial page in the country to make this call to put partisanship aside.

He also did not offer any admission of White House errors that could be taken as evidence that compromise was really possible -- and actually asked the Democrats to give up power by giving him new "line item veto" powers. And he pointedly suggested that now the Democrats may get the blame for not solving big problems.
Remember -- uniter not a divider. You can almost feel the whole tone of Washington changing, no?

Monday, January 01, 2007

Letterman's Great Moments in Presidential Speeches: "March to War"

All Those Formulas and the BCS Still Doesn't Add Up

ABC TV: "Wisconsin is the only one loss team in a BCS conference not playing in a BCS bowl."

Why? Because there is a rule that you can only have two teams from a conference in the BCS bowls.

Dumbest. Rule. Ever.

The best teams should play in the BCS, otherwise it isn't a useful measuring stick. But, hey, who is to say that having a bowl game at least a month after the end of the regular season is a meaningful way of determining anything either?

Until there is a true playoff system in college football to sort out who is and who is not overrated, college football -- BCS or no BCS -- will continue to end the year with more questions than answers.