As Heard at the BMW Championship (Golf Tournament)

"Look at that. These guys all hit it so close [to the hole]! I mean, we'd hit it over there (motioning to a part of the green far away from the hole) and have an orgasm."

Caption of the Month (August 2006)

I realize the month is not quite over, but I am pleased to announce the winner of the Spaulding, Get Your Foot Off the Boat!'s "Spauldy" award for for excellence in photographic captioning in a print or Web-based medium.

Ladies and gentlemen, this award-winning caption was written for a MSNBC article that was posted to the Web on the eve of Tiger Woods winning the PGA Championship. While the judge recognizes that many a fine photo caption was written in August 2006, none so expertly utilized humor and a cross-sport reference as well as this Spauldy winner.

I am pleased to announce that the Spauldy winning best caption is:

Luke Donald, who has never won a major title, enters the final round of the PGA Championship tied with 11-time major champion Tiger Woods. Columnist Dan O'Neill says Donald shouldn't despair. He also probably likes the Cubs to rally and win the NL wild card.

Analyzing the Tiger Effect at Medinah

Tiger Woods played so well today that he could have had the gallery rooting against him and still devoured the course. As it was, however, he had the Chicago crowd cheering for him like he was wearing North Carolina practice shorts underneath his trousers.

From the Washington Post:

"It was a special day out there," Woods said. "I just had one of those magic days on the greens. It's not often you get days like that. . . . I thought I could make everything."

..."When I had a four- or five-shot lead, I was just trying to make pars, that was my mind-set," he said. "Just keep hitting fairways and greens and lag putt it up there."

The three men nearest Tiger fell by the wayside as the now 12-time major winner cruised to victory.

And they fell by the wayside on a course that some pundits are saying is too easy for major championship golf. (Ed Sherman's ChicagoSports.com blog entry has this gem: "Arron Oberholser said Medinah wasn't worthy of a major. And he missed the cut. I'm still trying to figure out that one.")

Earlier I described my experience being in and around the "Tiger effect." I wrote that tour pros couldn't help but feel the Tiger effect if they were playing a group or two ahead of Tiger Woods because Tiger's crowd is completely different than the crowd following even golf's biggest other names. Let's see how the Tiger effect worked out Sunday:

-- Four groups ahead of Tiger --
Phil Mickelson: Shot a 2-over, 74. Fell eight places on the leaderboard into a tie for 16th (-6).
Ian Poulter: Shot a 1-under, 71. Fell one place on the leaderboard into a tie for ninth (-9).

-- Three groups ahead of Tiger --
K.J. Choi: Shot a 1-under, 71. Remained at seventh place (-10).
Chris DiMarco: Shot an even par, 72. Fell four places on the leaderboard into a tie for for 12th (-8).

-- Two groups ahead of Tiger --
Sergio Garcia: Shot a 2-under, 70. Rose two spots on the leaderboard into a tie for third (-12).
Shaun Micheel: Shot a 3-under, 69. Rose three spots on the leaderboard into second place (-13).

-- One group ahead of Tiger --
Mike Weir: Shot a 1-over, 73. Fell three spots on the leaderboard into sixth (-11).
Geoff Ogilvy: Shot a 2-over, 74. Fell five spots on the leaderboard into a tie for ninth (-9).

-- Tiger's group --
Luke Donald: Shot a 2-over, 74. Fell two spots on the leaderboard into a tie for third (-12).
Tiger Woods: Shot a 4-under, 68. Won the championship by five strokes.

Clearly the Tiger effect was out in full force today at Medinah, but its not like he needed it.

Putting the proper context on the athletic display that graced the Chicago suburbs Michael Wilbon in the Washington Post writes:

Watching Tiger now is as much theater as competition, which is what happens when sport is raised to art, when it commands not only respect but admiration.

Tiger was so brilliant today that even his bad shots seemed to just be setting us up for the golf clinic that was his recovery shots. It was another dominating performance that would have taken place no matter what the gallery, weather, or opponent. He's just that good.

More from the Post:

Said Micheel, who had missed the cut in his last seven majors: "Even if I'd hit every fairway, I'm not sure I'd have been able to catch Tiger. He's too good. . . . He's just such an intimidating force. Tiger has a unique ability to play well when he thinks he's not playing well. I'm not sure anything ever bothers him. I wish I had that feeling just once."

Tiger effect? The gallery? Nah. There's no demonstrable effect that would have made a difference today. The simple fact of the matter is that Tiger Woods is flat out better than any golfer on the PGA Tour by a wide margin when he is firing on all cylinders.

To beat Tiger Woods you have to hope you catch him on an off day, much like you need to do to beat a Cy Young pitcher. If you don't he'll own you. And that's when we all need to make sure we are sitting near our television sets to take in history. The only sad thing about Tiger's victory today in "golf's final major, glory's last shot" is that we now have to wait until April to see if he can do it all again. It is going to be a long winter.

Keep Hacking

From USA Today's On Deadline blog, "Golf Digest estimates the average golfer will record an ace once in every 12,000 shots."

Good thing I take a 100 swings every time out there.

Seems like you shouldn't count anything but tee shots in that 12,000, though.

Eh, who cares? The way I see it, I'm 11,00 tee shots away from an ace. Fore!