Wisdom from Business

Wisconsin State Journal editorial:

Milfred: Business will vote no on marriage amendment
Scott Milfred is editorial page editor for the Wisconsin State Journal

Business people hate government restrictions and pesky lawsuits.

So it makes perfect sense for Wisconsin business groups on Nov. 7 to oppose the divisive and distracting marriage amendment.

The measure is not just discriminatory and unfair, it's bad for Wisconsin's economy.

And if fair-minded people vote the amendment down, the boost to Wisconsin's image and business climate could be dramatic.

...More than half of Fortune 500 companies offer domestic partner benefits. So do more than 100 Wisconsin companies, including many of the state's largest private employers.

They do so because they want to attract talented workers, including gay and lesbian people as well as straight people who despise discrimination.

GOP candidate for governor Mark Green keeps noting that Wisconsin is losing too many young people. Then he ought to join Democratic Gov. Jim Doyle and state business leaders in opposing the marriage amendment.

Wisconsin fails to lure and keep enough young, professional and creative people in part because of our rural reputation. We're America's Dairyland. We're farms and cows and Cheeseheads.

What many dynamic and smart young people want is a place to live and work in that's cool.

Wisconsin offers plenty of outdoor fun and beauty, lively cities and other attributes. But when a state goes out of its way to bash gay and lesbian people, that's not only wrong -- it's lame.

It suggests to this important demographic of future business leaders -- whether gay or straight -- that the state is filled with uptight people bent on telling others how to live their lives.

It's a real buzz kill.

This article gets it right. Wisconsin needs to figure out if it is a state for the future or a remnant of a sheltered, less tolerant time. This isn't a Republican/Democrat issue. It is about taking a stand against a flawed proposal that seeks to limit people's rights simply because they are "different" than you.

If you're a Republican you should oppose this because government has no place in people's private lives. If you're a Democrat you should oppose this because makes a select group of citizens lesser than others, excluding them rights enjoyed by the majority.

Vote "no" on November 7.

Bush on Civil Unions

A hat tip to Time Magazine's Andrew Sullivan for pointing this one out. An interesting video considering that this topic is on the ballot in some states.

Let the Trade Rumors Begin

Baseball hasn't had a new champion for 24 hours yet, but I'm ready for the hot stove season.

The great thing about the White Sox right now is that in the course of just a few short years we've gone from not even being considered to being involved in seemingly every trade rumor out there. Credit that to the keen moves of GM Ken Williams.

The Joe Cowley of the Chicago Sun-Times writes:

But Williams has no problem with the rumors circulating around his team.

''I've grown used to us being a part of every deal and every rumor,'' Williams said. ''Some are truer than others. It means I have to answer more phone calls than what the norm is because everyone wants to know.

''I guess it's gotten to the point that there's so much thrown against the wall with our involvement that I don't get concerned with what's out there. I don't think people know what the hell we're doing, so that itself gives us a sort of a smokescreen.

''People now kind of figure that if there are impact players out there, we are somehow involved.''

It is good to be respected.

The Only Good Thing About Your Team Not Winning the World Series

The only good thing about your team not winning the World Series is that you will have no emotional desire to buy this hat. Man is this thing brutal -- and you can't even see the extra gray swooshie-thing that wraps around the back of the cap in this photo.

Wow.

Not good, not good at all.

This type of ugliness is typically reserved for the world of NASCAR. I'll sadly admit that the White Sox's World Series hat was fairly NASCAR itself (and that didn't stop it from making my Christmas list) but this hat takes that to a whole new level. Plus, gray and black for the St. Louis Cardinals?!? C'mon!

Let me be the first to suggest that if the world champion hats continue to get uglier the players should make this a topic in their next labor agreement. Someone has to put a stop to this.

(Of course, style is a matter of taste and if you'd like to dedicate $29.99 of your disposable income on this design, MLB.com is taking orders).

And don't worry -- they'll sell TONS of these things. Why? Because if it was my team I'd want one. After all, it says "World Series Champions," and it isn't everyday that your team's logo is placed directly above those glorious words.

NBA Contracts

The Chicago Tribune's Sam Smith reveals contract "logic" in the NBA:

Money matters

The absurdity that is NBA contract discussions is playing out with the Clippers now. They offered Chris Kaman an extension worth $50 million over five years, which doesn't seem unfair for their fourth-best starter. But Kaman, using a logic that amazingly worked for Tyson Chandler, said he's better than Chandler and Samuel Dalembert, who signed for $63 million and $64 million, respectively. So if the Bulls and 76ers made mistakes, the Clippers have to also? Pro sports is the only place that argument actually works.

Cologne Ads

What is the point of a cologne ad in a magazine that doesn't have one of those scent sample strips? Am I supposed to like the motorcycle and leather jacket in the picture so much that I'll scurry out to Macy's to sample the heretofore unknown product's scent? What a waste of page space....

Australia Brings Money to Global Warming Fight

From the Irish Examiner:

Australia pledges €300m to fight global warming

With Australia in the grip of its worst drought in a century, the government is set to announce an AUS$500m (€300m) [blog editor: $378.8 million U.S. dollars] package aimed at preventing global warming.

Australia, already one of the world's driest continents, has been suffering from below-average rainfall for the past several years, crippling farm production and raising concerns about the possibility of irreversible climate change.

However, Australia is one of only two industrialised nations worldwide, along with the United States, that have refused to sign the Kyoto Protocol on global warming which calls for dramatic cuts in carbon dioxide output, also known as greenhouse gas emissions.

Site Update: Labels

Loyal Spaulding readers and the 99 percent of you who arrive here from Blogger's "next blog" button, will be pleased to know that this blog now features labels. Labels are fun little keywords at the bottom of each blog entry that link to other Spaulding posts about that topic.

Wanna try it? Click on the White Sox tag below. Ooooh, ahhhh!!! Yes, you're guaranteed to like and/or ignore this feature, and you'll be happy to know that the entirety of Spaulding's archive has been labeled. Why? Because we had some time to kill.

Happy blogging!

It's Over

Well, I guess the ride is finally over.

A visit to whitesox.com today revealed that the "2005 World Series Champions" graphics have been removed in advance of tonight's Game 1 of the who-gives-a-damn-except-some-folks-in-Detroit-and-St. Louis Series. I'm assuming that Major League Baseball told the White Sox it was time to pull the plug on the celebrating. Man it was good while it lasted...

What's on TV? The White Sox

Looks like another regular season win for the White Sox over the Cubs.

The Chicago Tribune's Ed Sherman reports:

On the television side, Sox games on WGN-Ch. 9 and WCIU-Ch. 26 did a 5.1 rating, up 21 percent, while the Cubs dropped to a 4.5, down 22 percent.

One local ratings point is worth more than 34,000 homes. On Comcast SportsNet, the Sox pulled a 3.1 rating, while the Cubs did a 2.9.

Piniella Hiring

Only in Cubdom does doing the obvious earn you kudos.

Phil Rogers in the Chicago Tribue writes:

Jim Hendry, a gambler by nature who has been stuck too long at a table where the guys rolling the dice were ice cold, is making perhaps the boldest move ever by a Cubs executive in hiring Piniella. It was the obvious play for Hendry to make, but that doesn't change the audacity or the execution especially given that he has a new boss who seemed to be leading him in the direction of the easy choice, Joe Girardi.

Rogers continues on to lay out, in another well written article, the behind the scenes maneuvering Hendry made to get Piniella -- but still, isn't it odd that the Cubs with their steady, strong revenue stream are patted on the back for picking up a guy like Piniella? Plaudits for doing what you are supposed to be doing and making moves consistent with your team's market size shows just how hard of times the Cubs have fallen upon.

Did He Just Say That?

Chicago Bears coach Lovie Smith commenting after the Bears' come from behind win over Arizona:

“Sometimes, when you’re a team of destiny, things like that happen.”

Ooooh-kay, guess we know Lovie isn't afraid of jinxing himself.

School Safety Rationalism from Mr. Stephen Colbert

iPod's Fifth Birthday

As anyone who has been in a major (or even not-so-major) city lately can attest, iPods and Razr phones are ubiquitous.

What a lot of the late arrivals to the iPod phenomenon don't realize is that the iPod as a product line is now five years old.

Yep, that streamlined, super bright screen, holds all your music, photos, TV shows and movies wonder pod had a slightly more humble beginning as a 5 GB, black-and-white screened music device.

Sure, the original iPod is nowhere near as insanely great as its current generation siblings, but speaking as someone whose only iPod is the original iPod, it is still a remarkable device. All of the basic controls and industry leading software integration was there from the start, and in that way, the iPod has changed very, very little (and that's a good thing).

So, in honor of the iPod's fifth birthday, here the introduction video of the iPod from its launch in October 2001.

If the oldest iPod you can picture is the iPod mini, watch the video and take a trip through history. (And remember when you are watching the video that when the iPod came out the only MP3 players anyone had ever heard of were small 512 MB units with miniature buttons and clunky interfaces that required patience, determination and luck to operate).

Sure the original is a little bit more festively plump than today's version, but it is still an icon.

Happy Birthday iPod!



(Oh, and another thing that hasn't changed since 2001 -- Smash Mouth's "All Star" was overplayed even way back then too).

UPDATE: Kevin Maney points out that Wired has the story of the iPod's origin on their site.

UPDATE #2: Playlist's iPod blog has a great selection of quotes/reaction from the original iPod's unveiling. Some favorites:

One of the “Top Five Worst Tech Gifts” to get for Christmas in 2001—TechTarget

“I think the iPod will be another one of Apple’s failures just like the Newton. It’s only for the Mac; not a lot of the MP3 world uses Macs, compared with PCs. It costs $400; you can get so many other players that work well for much less. Apple could have done more-innovative things with an MP3 player than just make it look cool and give it some fast features.”—Letter to the editor, April 2002 issue of Macworld

“If Apple ever lowers the iPod’s price and develops Windows software for it, watch out: the invasion of the iPod people will surely begin in earnest.”—David Pogue, New York Times

Don't look now, but I'm pretty sure we're living in the world envisioned by Pogue.

Americans Are Finally Getting It

In the latest of a series of positive signs, Americans appear to be waking up to the need for energy independence.

Thomas Friedman of the New York Times writes:

JAMES Carville, the legendary Clinton campaign adviser who coined the slogan, "It's the economy, stupid," knows a gut issue when he sees one. So when Carville contacted me the other day to tell me about the newest gut issue his polling was turning up for candidates in the 2006 elections, I was all ears.

"Energy independence," he said. "It's now the No. 1 national security issue. It's become kind of a joke with us, because no matter how we ask the question, that's what comes up."

So, for instance, the Democracy Corps, a Democratic strategy group spearheaded by Carville and the former Clinton pollster Stan Greenberg, asked the following question in an Aug. 27 survey of likely voters: "Which of the following would you say should be the two most important national security priorities for the administration and Congress over the next few years?"

Coming in at No. 1, with 42 percent, was "reducing dependence on foreign oil." Coming in a distant second at 26 percent was "combating terrorism." Coming in third at 25 percent was "the war in Iraq," and tied at 21 percent were "securing our ports, nuclear plants and chemical factories" and "addressing dangerous countries like Iran and North Korea."

"Strengthening America's military" drew 12 percent.

Carville also noted that because their polls are of "likely voters," they have a slight Republican bias - i.e., they aren't just polling a bunch of liberal greens.

"When we lay out different plans for how to deal with Iraq, any plan that also includes energy independence tops any other plan that doesn't," said Greenberg, who added that people are not expressing this view because they are worried about price, but because they are starting to understand that our oil dependence is fueling a host of really bad national security problems. "There is frustration that leaders have not taken it up," he added. "There is a sense that the public is ahead of the leaders, and there is actually a sense of relief when anyone talks about with any seriousness."

...The best way for a party that is often viewed as weak on national security to overcome that deficit is to be for energy independence, he noted. Indeed, nothing would be more potent for Democrats now than to capture energy security and all the issues that surround it - from improving our trade deficit by not importing more oil to improving the climate to improving U.S. competitiveness by making us leaders in alternative fuels.

When You Absolutely, Positively Have to See That 19th Century Asian Vase Again

Spaulding, Get Your Foot Off the Boat! is a huge fan of iTunes and its TV show download service. Spaulding's editor has been with iTunes from the beginning -- downloading music from the iTunes Store the first day it was available via a dial-up connection. Furthermore, iTunes is the only way Spaulding has kept up with Project Runway this season, and it was the medium of choice for Spaulding when purchasing The Office, Season One. So Spaulding is no stranger to the store, or why it is such a great way to purchase and consume media.

All that said, this one doesn't seem to make much sense: full episodes of PBS' Antiques Roadshow are now available from the iTunes Store.

Huh? Unless you were personally on the show getting your Paul Revere silverware quoted, why would you need/want to download these for $2?

But what does Spaulding know? There are already six positive comments on iTunes celebrating the show's arrival.

Quote of the Week

Regarding the White Sox's partnership with 7-Eleven stores that will result in home games starting at 7:11 p.m. next season, Bob Verdi of the Chicago Tribune writes:

The only surprise is that the Cubs didn't think of this because, like your neighborhood 7-Eleven, they check out quickly and never seem to close.

Giving Bloggers $100 More Reasons to Not Move Out of the Basement

Isn't this what we all want to do, get paid for giving our opinion?

USA Today's Kevin Maney blog:

Blogsultants? Consulgers?

Talked to Mike Masnick, who runs the blog Techdirt, which this week launched an intriguing concept that could allow the best bloggers to double as ad hoc consultants. It's called Insight Community.

"Increasingly, there are a lot of smart and insightful bloggers offering up analysis and opinion" in their specialties, Masnick says. Why not give them a way to make extra money by answering specific questions posed by a company, and at the same time give companies some input that would cost less than hiring an analyst or consulting firm?

Bloggers who want to do this essentially nominate themselves on the Insight Community site. Their blogs become their resume and application. Techdirt first approves each blogger it allows into the system.

...Masnick says bloggers will make about $50 to $100 for each response they write. The responses would be about blog post length.

Given this news, Spaulding, Get Your Foot Off the Boat! will now take the next two weeks off of work in order to beef up this blog -- thereby clearing the way to make money while eating Cheetos on the couch.

Insurance Industry Leadership

Good news in the fight against global warming -- the private sector, motivated by the almighty dollar -- are waking up to the problems and financial opportunities presented by climate change.

Via USA Today:

New combatant against global warming: insurance industry

Updated 10/13/2006 11:46 AM ET
By Ron Scherer, The Christian Science Monitor

NEW YORK — Insurance companies, who like to stay out of the limelight, are becoming leading business protagonists in the assault on global warming.

•Next week, Travelers, the giant insurance firm, will offer owners of hybrid cars in California a 10% discount. It already offers the discount in 41 other states and has cornered a large share of the market.

•This fall, Fireman's Fund will cut premiums for "green" buildings that save energy and emit fewer greenhouse gases. When it pays off claims, it will direct customers to environmentally friendly products to replace roofs, windows, and water heaters.

•In January, Marsh, the largest insurance broker in the U.S., will offer a program with Yale University to teach corporate board members about their fiduciary responsibility to manage exposure to climate change.

The insurance industry's clout is sizable. It's the second-largest industry in the world in terms of assets, and has a direct link to most homeowners and businesses. It insures coal-fired power plants as well as wind farms, so it can influence the power industry's cost structure. With its financial muscle, the industry could help advance the use of new financial instruments designed to allow companies to trade greenhouse-gas emissions in the same way that commodities are bought and sold.

...One reason for this massive change in coverage is an ongoing shift in the way insurance companies view risk. Insurers are starting to change their risk-assessment models to reflect future climate-change scenarios instead of past weather patterns.

...In fact, the industry is not driven just by an attempt to help the environment: It also wants to make money. In Travelers' case, the impetus to give a policy discount on hybrid cars came when Greg Toczydlowski, a senior vice president of product management, was gassing up his wife's Ford Excursion.

"A hybrid zipped in and out while I was still pumping, and it occurred to me it takes so little gasoline and runs so much longer on a tank," says Mr. Toczydlowski. "I came back and did research on how many hybrids are out there and what's the profile of the customer. We discovered it was a preferred customer — middle-aged, very responsible, and stable financially."

Now hybrid owners, besides saving on their fuel bills, can save money on their auto insurance — about $100 a year, according to Travelers.

More Lasorda

No guy that has been in a tree since the Cubs were eliminated from the postseason is this fat.

Not in the Postseason Blues

Sometimes you just need Tommy Lasorda to jolt you out of your my-team-didn't-make-the-postseason depression. Thankfully he's up to the task.



Tommy's right -- now is the time to root against the teams that prevented you from getting to the post season. Ah, America's game. Isn't it great?

Cubs Set to Name New Manager

Continuing their Extreme Makeover: Ballclub Edition, the Chicago Cubs are set to announce that interim president John McDonough will also serve as the manager of the club for the 2007 season.

A source familiar with the team said the move was not completely unexpected.

"They figured why the heck not. It doesn't matter who manages so long as Kerry Wood and Mark Prior are being held together by bubble gum, twine and some of Dusty's old toothpicks."

According to industry experts, barring an Old Style drought or some sort of ivy disease striking the hallowed outfield walls, the move is projected to have no impact on the team's attendance.

Spaulding will have more as this story develops...

Guillen Out of Touch on This One

Ozzie Guillen is a character, but this one goes too far. In fact it rounds the bend from being colorful to end up in the realm of the idiotic.

ChicagoSports.com:

"I'm sure there are people in Chicago who are happy we didn't make it. And not just Cubs fans either. White Sox fans too. Some people think, the media, they're happy we didn't make it. But we can't please everyone. We just have to come back strong and try to get another shot next year."

HUH?!? White Sox fans are happy that we aren't in the playoffs?!? Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie. You're taking things way, way, way too far. The only Sox "fans" who are happy that we aren't in the playoffs are those who wear Cubs hats to U.S. Cellular.

Here is the end of the quote:

Guillen believes that those detractors do respect him.

"Some people don't like the way I am," Guillen said. "I'm the way I am, and no one is going to take that away from me. Of course, some people are really sad we don't make it, but they're true fans and the people who work at the park."

I guess I'm just a "true fan." Still, I can't fathom there are many White Sox fans who are happy with the way this year turned out.

Good Thing Global Warming Isn't Real...

Chicago Tribune:

Blasting A/C in the Arctic

One area is 5 to 11 degrees above average

In this northern territory, temperatures are rising, hunters are falling through ice and offices are using something they've never used before--air co

By Howard Witt
Tribune senior correspondent

September 29, 2006

RESOLUTE BAY, Nunavut -- They never used to need air conditioners up in the Arctic.

But earlier this year, officials in the Canadian Inuit territory of Nunavik authorized the installation of air conditioners in official buildings for the first time. Artificial cooling was necessary, they decided, because summertime temperatures in some southern Arctic villages have climbed into the 80s in recent years.

Inuit families in the region never used to need to shop in grocery stores, either. But the Arctic seas that always stayed frozen well into the summer have started breaking open much earlier, cutting off hunters from the seasonal caribou herds on which their families depend for sustenance.

And experienced Inuit hunters, as comfortable reading ice conditions as professional golfers are reading greens, had seldom fallen through the ice and drowned. But this year in Alaska, more than a dozen vanished into the sea.

...Wayne Davidson, the resident meteorologist in Resolute Bay for 20 years, says monthly temperatures throughout the year are 5 to 11 degrees higher than recent historical averages. For example, Davidson said, the average daily temperature last March was minus 13.4 degrees Fahrenheit, compared with an average of minus 24.2 degrees from 1947 to 1991.

...The signs of warming in the Arctic are not merely anecdotal. This month, NASA climate experts reported with alarm that for the last two years, Arctic sea ice has been melting in summer and winter at rates far higher than anything seen before.

Summer sea ice coverage in 2005 was the smallest recorded in a century and was not much larger this year, the NASA researchers said, and winter coverage in 2005 and 2006 was 6 percent smaller than the average over the last 26 years.

The recession of ice coverage in the winter is especially alarming, experts said, because it suggests the fundamental climatic engine that creates Arctic ice may be impaired.

..."The basic question of global warming is no longer a subject of dispute in the scientific literature," said Naomi Oreskes, a professor of the history of science at the University of California, San Diego, who reviewed 928 scientific papers about climate change published between 1993 and 2003 and found none challenging evidence of human contributions to global warming.

"The discussion has moved on to how quickly will things change in the future, the rate of ice melting and differing climate models," Oreskes said. "There's almost nobody left anymore who doesn't accept that global warming is real."

...SIGNS OF ARCTIC CLIMATE CHANGE

Ice-covered areas of the Arctic seas have been declining at the highest rate in a century of recorded observations.

Mosquitoes were sighted in Resolute Bay last year for the first time.

Experienced Inuit hunters are falling through the ice along routes they once traversed with ease.

Polar bears are hungrier and venturing more frequently into Inuit villages.

Air conditioners are being imported to Canadian Arctic territory of Nunavik.

Why the Twins Don't Deserve It

This one should probably have been entitled why Twins fans don't deserve it.

AP:

The small crowd of 18,108 at the Metrodome cheered when Chicago's game was final, saving more screaming for the real celebration about 90 minutes later.

Wait, wait, wait! Your team is having one of the all-time great second halves of the season, and only a handful more than 18,000 make it out to the ballpark on the night they clinch a playoff birth? Twins fans, you just don't deserve this. And you didn't deserve it in 2002, 2003 or 2004 either. You've made four trips to the playoffs in the past five years. It is the end of the season and you're fighting for the division championship. Show up! Put some butts in the seats, and then we'll talk. Until then you don't deserve it.

Talk Like a Pirate Day

Avast ye readers, take heed. This here September 19th be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Arrr, me knows this be late notice but it still gives me mates on the western coast plenty of time to set sail and talk like a scallywag.

And lest ye not know the first thing about pirating, here be some tips me hearties:

Learn to talk like a pirate



Know how to answer the phone



Get dating tips from a pirate



Me hopes yer day be hearty and your tide be high.

Lazy Saturday Morning News Roundup

The Cost of Legacy Technology

AP:

CANTON, Ohio - A widow rented a rotary dial telephone for 42 years, paying what her family calculates as more than $14,000 for a now outdated phone.

Art for Thought's Sake

Reuters:

LOS ANGELES - A live Asian elephant, painted in pink and gold, stands in a makeshift living room.

Giant cockroaches swarm over copies of Paris Hilton's pop CD. A dummy angel wearing a gas mask and a white parachute flaps in the blue skies.

Even in free-wheeling Los Angeles, they'd never seen anything quite like this.

Graffiti artist and prankster Banksy opened his first Los Angeles show on Friday in an obscure warehouse in industrial Downtown, bringing his subversive humour and anti-capitalist message to a city better known for wealth and self-obsession.

"Barely Legal," a free three-day event billed as a "vandalized warehouse extravaganza," opened with the excitement and puzzlement that has come to be the hallmark of the elusive "guerrilla artist."

...On one wall, a stencil art picture shows bush hunters in loincloths raising their spears at empty supermarket shopping carts. On another, a masked street anarchist with a thrown back arm prepares to hurl -- a bunch of flowers.

But the placid pink elephant takes pride of place. Tai, 38, looms large in a room decked out with a sofa, a television, rugs on the floor and a man and woman sitting reading obliviously on the couch. It is titled "Home Sweet Home."

Will This Be Included in the Tourism Guides?

AP:

VIENNA, Austria - Organizers of a campaign trying to clear Vienna's streets of dog droppings are urging residents to record how many droppings they see in the space of five minutes and report the figure as part of an impromptu census.

A group that wants the droppings cleaned up said it would compile the figures and present them to city officials on Monday as part of its stepped-up effort to pressure the Austrian capital to deal with the problem.

...the information provided by residents would help determine what parts of Vienna are most soiled by dogs and provide an overview of just how many droppings are out there on any given day.

It's Not Like It's Jon Voight's Car

Reuters:

NEW YORK - Warren Buffett's car is attracting some early buying interest, but so far isn't exactly flying out of its virtual showroom.

The charity auction for the billionaire investor and philanthropist's 2001 Lincoln Town Car on eBay Inc.'s Web site opened Tuesday at 6 p.m. EDT (11 p.m. British time) with a starting bid of $25,000 (13,300 pounds).

By 5 p.m. Wednesday, a bid of $27,500 by "nnoerper" was the highest of nine bids, topping the next highest bid by $100. The high bidder was not immediately available for comment.

...The Signature series Town Car has a light gold exterior and 14,000 miles on the clock. That model in outstanding condition might sell for close to $13,000 in a private sale in Omaha, according to Edmunds.com, but a Girls Inc. spokeswoman said Buffett's Lincoln has been appraised at more than $18,000.

...He will throw in the Lincoln's "THRIFTY" licence plate. To sweeten the deal, Buffett has agreed to chauffeur the winning bidder from Omaha's airport when it's time to pick up the car.

The auction ends on September 22.

And if you act now you'll get the floor mats, scented air freshener and rear view mirror dice at no extra charge!

Best Values Can Be Found in the Best Division in Baseball

SI.com has issued their Fan Value Index 2006 -- an analysis of what ballparks provide fans with the best overall experience for their dollar, as judged by the fans themselves.

The survey looked at:

• Average ticket price
• Average cost of concessions/souvenirs
• Accessibility
• Amenities
• Atmosphere
• Neighborhood
• Team

The top five team/ballpark experiences as ranked by the fans are:

1) Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (Angel Stadium)
2) Colorado Rockies (Coors Field)
3) Pittsburgh Pirates (PNC Park)
4) Milwaukee Brewers (Miller Park)
5) Texas Rangers (Ameriquest Field)

The five worst team/ballpark experiences are:

26) Los Angeles Dodgers (Dodger Stadium)
27) Florida Marlins (Dolphin Stadium)
28) Boston Red Sox (Fenway Park)
29) New York Mets (Shea Stadium)
30) Washington Nationals (RFK Stadium)

And, for those who can only recognize baseball team names if they are deified by ESPN, other notables include:

19) New York Yankees (Yankee Stadium)
24) Chicago Cubs (Wrigley Field)

What is most interesting about this list is when you look at it on a division-by-division basis you find that the best fan value can be found in the best division in baseball, the American League Central.

Here is the proof:

For comparison purposes, I grouped the rankings by division, and then averaged the score for all of the teams in that division. This yielded the following results (lower score is better -- remember, these are rankings):

AL Central: 8.00
NL Central: 11.83
AL West: 12.25
NL West: 15.8
AL East: 21.40
NL East: 23.80

Based upon these figures, one can't help but conclude that the fans attending the Tigers/Twins/White Sox games making up the AL wild card chase are enjoying perhaps the best wild card value, ever.

Live Blogging Wisconsin's Primary

With seven percent of the precincts reporting Spauling is ready to project Herb Kohl as the winner of the Democratic U.S. Senate primary.

Squirrels Continue Assault on Human Civilization

Just when you think it's safe to go outside again, the squirrels strike back.

Reuters:

A squirrel scampered into the bicycle wheel of an unlucky Finnish opera singer, causing him to fall, knock himself out and break his nose just ahead of the world premiere of a new opera.

...The singer ended up concussed and in a local hospital, rather than at his rehearsals for the Finnish opera Kaarmeen hetki (Hour of the Serpent), which opens on September 15.

...The squirrel died in the accident.

Spaulding was among the first to report on the alarming number of guerrilla-style squirrel attacks launched at homo sapien targets. This latest, suicide-style attack is a startling development and marks a change in their tactics.

Just remember: we don't know where, we don't know when, but squirrels will attack and we have to be prepared. Refrain from stockpiling nuts and remain indoors. And please note, it is no longer believed that putting duct tape around your windows will deter a squirrel attack.

The Department of Homeland Security did not increase the national threat level in response to this foreign attack. We remain at yellow (elevated).

Is It Me, Or Is It Getting Hot on This Planet?

FINALLY, a way to get people (mostly men) to think about global warming...

AP:

SYDNEY - A saloon-style striptease at an Australian government-sponsored conference on global warming left some scientists and government officials hot and bothered.

The show was cut short and organizers issued an apology after some delegates at the Australia and New Zealand Climate Forum's dinner in Canberra walked out during what was intended as a lighthearted break from the weighty business of rising temperatures.

U.S. Open (the tennis one)

Could the U.S. (Tennis) Open be played at any worse a time during the summer? The tournament always kicks off during Labor Day weekend, meaning that by the time it gets to the point where the one guy you know is playing another guy whom also know of, you're back at work or school. This thing will creep along during the week, only to reappear on most of our radar screens on Saturday or Sunday (and that is probably only if it is raining outside). I'm not sure if anything can be done about this, but it just doesn't seem like this is an ideal arrangement for growing the game.

Site Update: Extreme Mortman

Spaulding, Get Your Foot Off the Boat! is pleased to announce the addition of Extreme Mortman to the links sidebar.

For the uninitiated, Extreme Mortman is a very cool, highly decorated political blog. From the site:

In addition to editing the daily on-line political briefing, Mortman wrote the regular column “Extreme Mortman,” which drew a cultish Internet following of political junkies looking for his original political and media insight and dry humor. He later worked for MSNBC, where he produced “Hardball with Chris Matthews” during the 2002 and 2004 election cycles and wrote a regular column for the MSNBC.com web site. Mortman has also written political comedy and has performed stand-up comedy at such venues as the DC Improv.

The Extreme Mortman blog now makes the sidebar because Howard Mortman himself was kind enough to post a comment on Spaulding in response to my complaint that this somewhat cool, not-at-all decorated blog has not showed up in any of the Blogs the Famous Media Reads blog entries. (Before I continue, let me clarify that Blogs the Famous Media Reads will remain banned from the links column until Spaulding is given its due, despite my acclaim for its Extreme Mortman parent site).

Given my commenter's background, would now be a bad time to point out that I'm a politically-saavy and experienced communications/PR professional who is open to new job opportunities?

Yep, put my resume in a pile with all the other West Wing watching, Economist reading, sports following, pop culture absorbing, electoral map shaders.

If only Blogger Beta had an "add resume" function...

For Those of You Scoring At Home, That's 5

Tiger Woods continues to roll. In the past five tournaments he's entered, he's five-for-five.

NY Times:

[Tiger's mechanics are coming together] So much so that Woods carded his 20th round in the 60’s in his past 24, good for a tournament score of 16-under-par 268. Beginning with his triumph at the British Open on July 23, golfers at various points in their careers have stood in Woods’s midst, only to be humbled.

The five consecutive victories have run up Woods' victory tally to seven this year...and he's only entered 14 events.

Think about that for a second.

Nobody hits .500 for the season in baseball. In basketball Michael Jordan never shot better than .539 for the year (1990-91) -- and that counts layups.

What Tiger is doing is absolutely amazing. And he's not getting enough credit for how good he is.

Sure he's got the Nike endorsement, Buick deal and scores of other Tiger-powered advertisements, but even that is not enough.

Tiger is dominating the game in a manner that even his most ardent supporters never would have imagined. And we are all lucky to get to watch.

I remember being glued to the CBS telecast as Tiger marched his way to victory at Augusta in 1997. Inspired by someone I saw as a member of my generation, I headed out to the driving range after that first time since my junior golf days. That return to the golf course gave me a hobby after an inability to hit the curveball ended my baseball career, and has yielded countless rounds and cherished time with my father and grandfather. As far as I'm concerned that is another accomplishment -- another victory -- that doesn't end up anywhere in Tiger's career statisitcs and I know I'm not the only one who experienced this.

So for all the guys (and girls) who will run to the driving range to see if they can learn how to hit a "stinger," attempt to dribble a golf ball on the face of their wedge, and show up to their next tee time clad in a red polo shirt, thank you Tiger. We can't wait to see what you do next.

The Crocodile Hunter

Thanks for the education and entertainment, Steve.

Snubbed!

Spaulding, Get Your Foot Off the Boat! would like to express its extreme disappointment that it has not made any of the listings on the Blogs the Famous Media Reads blog, a listing of what mainstream press "celebrities" are reading in the blogosphere.

This is unexplainable.

Spaulding is the on the cutting edge of the issues that are shaping our world and it would seem that the news media who attempt to cover those events would want to read Spaulding to see what the Spaulding, Get Your Foot Off the Boat! demographic is thinking.

Look at it this way: within the last 30 days Spaulding has chronicled topics such Tiger Woods' continued dominance, global warming, renegade squirrels, and Toyota profits.

How can this blog not be your homepage, reporters?

In protest of this obvious affront, Spaulding will not list Blogs the Famous Media Read in its links sidebar until this oversight is addressed.

C'mon. How many more hits does the Daily Kos need?

Growing Older

Sign that you're not as young as you used to be: white athletic socks no longer make up 98 percent of your sock drawer. In fact, they're down to representing only five to 10 percent of your socks.

New Found Free Time

The U.S. Census Bureau says commute times to work are down. Good news, huh? Yep.

Guess how much they are down by.

Nope. Lower. Lower... Ah, you'll never guess it.

The average commute is 0.4 minutes shorter than it was in 2000 -- shriveling up from a practically intolerable 25.5 minutes in 2000 to an unbelievably brisk 25.1 minutes in 2005.

So enjoy what amounts to an extra 48 seconds a day. Balance your checkbook. Plan a trip. Write the next great American novel. Heck, with an extra 48 seconds in your day anything is possible.

Myself? I'll be taking that time to use the rear view mirror to make sure I don't have anything in my teeth.

Caption of the Month (August 2006)

I realize the month is not quite over, but I am pleased to announce the winner of the Spaulding, Get Your Foot Off the Boat!'s "Spauldy" award for for excellence in photographic captioning in a print or Web-based medium.

Ladies and gentlemen, this award-winning caption was written for a MSNBC article that was posted to the Web on the eve of Tiger Woods winning the PGA Championship. While the judge recognizes that many a fine photo caption was written in August 2006, none so expertly utilized humor and a cross-sport reference as well as this Spauldy winner.

I am pleased to announce that the Spauldy winning best caption is:

Luke Donald, who has never won a major title, enters the final round of the PGA Championship tied with 11-time major champion Tiger Woods. Columnist Dan O'Neill says Donald shouldn't despair. He also probably likes the Cubs to rally and win the NL wild card.

As Seen on the Streets #2

Leaving a mall tonight I passed by an older gentleman who was toting an oxygen tank to assist his breathing. He was standing on the sidewalk with a lady who was smoking a cigarette.

Folks, if you choose to smoke, please don't do so near someone who requires an oxygen tank.

As Seen on the Streets

My driver of the day award goes to the individual with the Harley-Davidson "It's An Attitude" bumper sticker on the back of their Mercury Tracer.

Because when you think attitude, you think Mercury Tracer.

Analyzing the Tiger Effect at Medinah

Tiger Woods played so well today that he could have had the gallery rooting against him and still devoured the course. As it was, however, he had the Chicago crowd cheering for him like he was wearing North Carolina practice shorts underneath his trousers.

From the Washington Post:

"It was a special day out there," Woods said. "I just had one of those magic days on the greens. It's not often you get days like that. . . . I thought I could make everything."

..."When I had a four- or five-shot lead, I was just trying to make pars, that was my mind-set," he said. "Just keep hitting fairways and greens and lag putt it up there."

The three men nearest Tiger fell by the wayside as the now 12-time major winner cruised to victory.

And they fell by the wayside on a course that some pundits are saying is too easy for major championship golf. (Ed Sherman's ChicagoSports.com blog entry has this gem: "Arron Oberholser said Medinah wasn't worthy of a major. And he missed the cut. I'm still trying to figure out that one.")

Earlier I described my experience being in and around the "Tiger effect." I wrote that tour pros couldn't help but feel the Tiger effect if they were playing a group or two ahead of Tiger Woods because Tiger's crowd is completely different than the crowd following even golf's biggest other names. Let's see how the Tiger effect worked out Sunday:

-- Four groups ahead of Tiger --
Phil Mickelson: Shot a 2-over, 74. Fell eight places on the leaderboard into a tie for 16th (-6).
Ian Poulter: Shot a 1-under, 71. Fell one place on the leaderboard into a tie for ninth (-9).

-- Three groups ahead of Tiger --
K.J. Choi: Shot a 1-under, 71. Remained at seventh place (-10).
Chris DiMarco: Shot an even par, 72. Fell four places on the leaderboard into a tie for for 12th (-8).

-- Two groups ahead of Tiger --
Sergio Garcia: Shot a 2-under, 70. Rose two spots on the leaderboard into a tie for third (-12).
Shaun Micheel: Shot a 3-under, 69. Rose three spots on the leaderboard into second place (-13).

-- One group ahead of Tiger --
Mike Weir: Shot a 1-over, 73. Fell three spots on the leaderboard into sixth (-11).
Geoff Ogilvy: Shot a 2-over, 74. Fell five spots on the leaderboard into a tie for ninth (-9).

-- Tiger's group --
Luke Donald: Shot a 2-over, 74. Fell two spots on the leaderboard into a tie for third (-12).
Tiger Woods: Shot a 4-under, 68. Won the championship by five strokes.

Clearly the Tiger effect was out in full force today at Medinah, but its not like he needed it.

Putting the proper context on the athletic display that graced the Chicago suburbs Michael Wilbon in the Washington Post writes:

Watching Tiger now is as much theater as competition, which is what happens when sport is raised to art, when it commands not only respect but admiration.

Tiger was so brilliant today that even his bad shots seemed to just be setting us up for the golf clinic that was his recovery shots. It was another dominating performance that would have taken place no matter what the gallery, weather, or opponent. He's just that good.

More from the Post:

Said Micheel, who had missed the cut in his last seven majors: "Even if I'd hit every fairway, I'm not sure I'd have been able to catch Tiger. He's too good. . . . He's just such an intimidating force. Tiger has a unique ability to play well when he thinks he's not playing well. I'm not sure anything ever bothers him. I wish I had that feeling just once."

Tiger effect? The gallery? Nah. There's no demonstrable effect that would have made a difference today. The simple fact of the matter is that Tiger Woods is flat out better than any golfer on the PGA Tour by a wide margin when he is firing on all cylinders.

To beat Tiger Woods you have to hope you catch him on an off day, much like you need to do to beat a Cy Young pitcher. If you don't he'll own you. And that's when we all need to make sure we are sitting near our television sets to take in history. The only sad thing about Tiger's victory today in "golf's final major, glory's last shot" is that we now have to wait until April to see if he can do it all again. It is going to be a long winter.

Congratulations, Tiger Woods!

Champion
2006 PGA Championship
2006 British Open

Career Majors: 12

"I can sit here and watch him play and realize that what I do and how I play is not golf."

-- Gary McCord

(transcribed from CBS' live broadcast, exact quote may differ slightly)

The Tiger Effect

On Saturday I had the privilege of attending the 88th PGA Championship at Medinah, and like most people in the gallery I joined the mass of bodies following Tiger Woods.

Watching Tiger is like watching Michael Jordan in his prime -- it is to come face-to-face with the pinnacle of human athletic performance. His swing conjures an almost emotional, awe-inspired reaction completely different than the "standard" impressed feeling that you get from watching "ordinary" professional golfers (who are already better than 99.9 percent of us).

A statuesque figure, with the perfect blend of power and finesse, Tiger is intimidating enough on his own. But what you quickly come to understand when you see Tiger in person (better than you can understand it on television) is that beyond Tiger's sheer and unrivaled athletic ability, he wields the intangible of a large, energized gallery. And in my estimation (as well as the reports of others) this is a big part of the Tiger effect.

Few golfers generate galleries that line up four, five and six-deep around tee boxes. I saw Phil Mickelson tee off of the seventh, and he had a far larger crowd than the other groups ahead of him, but Phil's crowd didn't have the buzz and energy of Tiger's.

Tiger has herd following him around the golf course.

It is a mass of humanity that splits its time between watching his shots and running ahead of Tiger to get a good viewing angle a little bit further ahead on the course. It is respectful, but altogether different than the meandering galleries that line the other 15 or so holes that aren't experiencing the Tiger effect.

The Sports Network reports that Woods is 11-for-11 when he holds at least a share of the 54-hole lead, as he does in this tournament. So that means when Tiger wins he is in the final group. Therefore, if you are playing ahead of Tiger you are subjected to hundreds of people running along fairways, crowding tee boxes, and encircling greens to get a glimpse of their hero.

It is no wonder that golfers accustomed to still and silent spectators that get people sprinting from fairway to green feel out of place. Add to this the fact that they know they are chasing Tiger Woods, and you can see why the competition often withers.

From Michael Wilbon in the Washington Post:

You thought Jack Nicklaus could win, or might win, or in some cases, like at Augusta National, probably would win.

But it never seemed inevitable.

And since missing the cut at the U.S. Open, that's how it seems for Woods.

...The question now, after 54 holes, is who's going to stop him here?

...Mike Weir, who has won a major, also tied the course record with a 65 on Saturday. And while he has won seven tournaments since his meltdown in the final round on this same golf course in the 1999 PGA Championship, one has to wonder if Weir will suffer any effects from that final-round 80 he shot when paired with Woods that day. Weir, flashing back to that day, recalled: "I was uptight. I just wasn't calm about it. . . . No question it was painful." Weir recalled feeling "spacey . . . kind of spun out."

It's impossible to hear that and not wonder how much of that is directly attributable to being paired with Woods, whose galleries are uncommonly loud and mobile. Tiger, having won four times in Chicago in his career, is as beloved here as Mickelson is in New York. But there might be some divided loyalties Sunday because Donald has lived in Chicago since winning the NCAA championship as a Northwestern University student in 1999. He has two PGA Tour victories and two European victories. He played with Nicklaus during the Golden Bear's final British Open round last year, so he is hardly a neophyte.

But he knows Tiger rolls over people when he's even or ahead. He talked about Sunday being "a little bit different," though he must know it will be massively different. "I don't know whether the local support," he said, "will outweigh Tiger's kind of army following him."

It has been quite humid at Medinah -- play Friday was accompanied by a 70 percent chance of rain. One can't help but feel that the chance of the Tiger effect manifesting itself is at least that high today.

A Few Yards Short of Intelligible

Whoever invented the NFL's quarterback passing rating statistic must be related to the guy who created the English system of measurement.

Slate.com:

The NFL's system uses four metrics: completion percentage, yards per attempt, percentage of touchdowns thrown per attempt, and percentage of interceptions per attempt. The four factors are weighted equally.

A score between zero and 2.375 is calculated for each metric. A score of 1.0 is supposed to be average. A completely average quarterback would complete 50 percent of his passes, average 7 yards per attempt, throw 5 percent of his passes for touchdowns, and throw an interception 5.5 percent of the time.

Uh...what...?

Oh, hey, look, a baseball game is on!

Behold the Power of Television

AP:

Researchers confirmed the distracting power of television — something parents have long known — when they found that children watching cartoons suffered less pain from a hypodermic needle than kids not watching TV.

I felt no pain throughout my childhood.

Our Misguided Priorities

Last night I saw An Inconvenient Truth, the global warming documentary warming starring Al Gore.

The film is a startling wake up call that had me thinking all last night, and throughout my wake up routine this morning.

Our priorities are out of whack and we need to start making substantive changes now.

I would urge anyone who has an interest in living on this planet with a predictable, stable and high quality of life to see the film and then start working to become a part of the solution.

Watch the trailer (below). Find a theater. Pledge to see the film (right-side of this page). See the movie. Learn more. Help save the planet as we know it.

NFL Preseason

Quick, think of a sporting event that is overhyped more than the NFL pre-season.

Have you come up with one?

Hmmm....

...What about now?

No, I can wait...

Yankees Begin Tight Rope Walk

No, I'm not talking about the AL East. I'm talking about the Yankees' status as one of baseballs elite teams, anchored by their legendary ballpark. A legendary ballpark that will soon be losing its "living legend" status.

The New York Yankees today officially broke ground on the new Yankee Stadium -- the house that George built.

Via Yankees.com:

The new Yankee Stadium will open in 2009, replacing the third-oldest stadium in the Major Leagues. Yankee Stadium has held up for 84 years, surpassed only by Fenway Park and Wrigley Field.

"This new stadium will present new comforts, new features and be state-of-the-art in every way," Yankees president Randy Levine said. "It will be the most spectacular fan-friendly stadium ever built."

A large artist's rendering behind the speakers showcased the $800 million stadium's majesty. Detailed pictures showed how modern the ballpark will be.

...The new Yankee Stadium will seat fewer than the current stadium, but it will have 60 luxury suites, including three outdoor suites and eight party suites. It will have many restaurants, larger concourses and entertainment areas.

But the Yankees will also carry over some of the time-honored traditions of their current stadium. The field dimensions will be the same, and Monument Park will be transferred to the new park.

The design will even go further back to recreate some of the original park's features. It will have the tall cathedral windows, auxiliary outfield scoreboards, a right-field Yankees bullpen and a frieze on the roof, which is commonly known as the façade and was a feature of the original stadium.

...Along with the $800 million the Yankees have fronted, the city and state are pitching in more than $200 million to build recreational parks along the waterfront and other facilities around the ballpark.

A hotel, convention center and $45 million Yankee Stadium Metro-North Station are also in the plans. Four new parking garages will be built, creating approximately 10,000 vehicle spaces.

[Mayor] Bloomberg said that the stadium's construction will create 6,500 jobs during the next four years and up to 1,000 permanent jobs. The city will spend $1 million in training Bronx residents for the construction.

The plan appears grand, and if they can recapture the look and feel of Yankee stadium in the days of Ruth while adding in high def video boards and expanded concourses, it could very well be a tremendous success. But...there is always the chance that it won't be.

The Red Sox, Yankees and Cubs are some of baseballs most-hyped teams, and a great deal of that can be attributed to their ballparks. So for those of us who have asked what would the Cubs be without Wrigley Field we are about to get an idea.

What are the Yankees when they no longer play on the same surface as Ruth, Gehrig and Mantle? Do they simply become a highly paid team, with a strong W/L record? Or does the legend, the aura, the Yankee pride make the move? Sure, all the trappings of the team and its personnel are moving, but can you surpass/recreate the Yankee experience?

2009 will be interesting.

Greetings from Beta

Oooooh...

Hello, from Blogger beta.

Blogger beta is quite slick mostly because it allows you to change the layout/format of your blog without having to mess around with HTML code. This was a badly needed upgrade. I'm glad I made the change. I would encourage my reader who operates Not Good, Not Good At All to give Blogger beta a try (actually, if I read it correctly, you can't give Blogger beta a "try." Once you go Blogger beta you can't go back).

Happy blogging!

Boldly Going Where Gosh Knows How Many Have Already Gone

After hardly any convincing at all, I have decided to take the plunge and upgrade Spaulding, Get Your Foot Off the Boat! to the "new version of Blogger" which is currently in beta. Visitors to this blog (all three of you) may experience some hiccups, but I hope you will bear with me (or more accurately Blogger) as we work to bring you a better version of Spaulding.

Snakes on a Phone/E-mail

This is hands down, one of the coolest marketing things I have seen in a long time:

http://snakesonaplane.varitalk.com

Isn't There Homeland Security Money Available For This Sort of Thing?

AP:

OKOMO, Ind. - A wayward squirrel invaded a power substation and left more than 5,000 homes and businesses without electricity.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me be the first to say that squirrels are an emerging threat in this country and our states have done nothing to secure their borders. Squirrels are free to wander state-to-state, building up caches of nuts and intel without so much as a glance by local law enforcement.

And lest you sleep soundly tonight, I tell you the squirrel threat is not confined to this widespread power outage (which was clearly a malicious attack on commerce in this country). No, the squirrel has shown that he is an enemy who knows know bounds. Just last week he attacked those simply trying to enjoy a day off at the park.

I urge you to take the proper precautions and to form a neighborhood watch. Eyes on the trees; stay in your cars.

And You Thought Dumpster Diving Was Just for College Kids

This sounds like a great employee morale booster. Reuters:

Bankrupt Northwest Airlines Corp. advised workers to fish in the trash for things they like or take their dates for a walk in the woods in a move to help workers facing the ax to save money.

The No. 5 U.S. carrier, which has slashed most employees' pay and is looking to cut jobs as it prepares to exit bankruptcy, put the tips in a booklet handed out to about 50 workers and posted for a time on its employee Web site.

...The four-page booklet, "Preparing for a Financial Setback" contained suggestions such as shopping in thrift stores, taking "a date for a walk along the beach or in the woods" and not being "shy about pulling something you like out of the trash."

...Prepared with the help of an outside company, the booklet encourages employees to manage their money better and prepare for financial emergencies.

"If you have saved some money, pat yourself on the back -- you deserve it," the booklet reads. "Take out only what you need and spend prudently."

How much did they pay the outside company for these awesome tips? Gee, couldn't you find the same thing on Google? Oh wait...why, yes you can!

Results 1 - 10 of about 553,000,000 for how to save money. (0.15 seconds)

Did anybody tell Northwest that they should sell space on their airsick bags?

Can't We Catch a Break?

The world oil market just can't stay healthy. They must have a big red Cubs "C" on the outside of all their tankers and pipelines because it seems like there's a new ailment everyday.

AP:

Japanese tanker spills crude oil
Accident follows collision with cargo ship
BREAKING NEWS
The Associated Press

Updated: 10:43 p.m. CT Aug 14, 2006
TOKYO - A Japanese tanker spilled around 4,500 tons of crude oil in the Indian Ocean following a collision, a news report said Tuesday.

The tanker spilled the oil after colliding with a cargo ship...

Did They Fall Out of an Overhead Bin?!?

Let me preface this by saying that I have never watched an episode of Lost. Realizing that, I probably should not be weighing in on this one, but I can't help myself.

From Access Hollywood:

Three new castaways ready to get ‘Lost’
Elizabeth Mitchell, Kiele Sanchez and Rodrigo Santoro join the cast

BURBANK, CA - Remember those episodes of “Gilligan's Island” when Gilligan would run into some stranger while looking for coconuts and it was never really explained how they ended up on the island? Well, ABC's “Lost” is adding three new characters for the show's third season and, just like that other classic show, no one is saying how they got there.

Over the last week it was announced that actors Rodrigo Santoro, Kiele Sanchez and Elizabeth Mitchell would be the show's latest castaways.

WHAT?!? The show is about an airplane that crashes and strands the survivors (no, not those survivors) on a island. How the heck do you add people to that cast?

I'd say the writers will have their hands full with this one. My guess for how it is handled:

"Holy cow, the guy in 6F finally came out of the can."

Public Restroom Man Laws

From Steve Dahl in today's Chicago Tribune:

....I was using the restaurant's men's room to wash my hands...An older gentleman was stationed at the urinal. When he was finished, I stepped to the side to allow him access to the sink, but he declined and chose to leave the washroom without washing...

The strange thing was that he had a napkin or something that he had already palmed to keep his hand from touching the door handle on the way out. I "drafted," as they say in NASCAR, and went out the open door behind him. I appreciated the opportunity to not have to think about the futility of washing my hands and then touching the filthy restroom door.

I am not a paper on the handle kind of guy, but judging from the piles of paper towels on the floors of many public bathrooms, a lot of people are. I have just chosen not to take things that far. I must admit, however, that someone using the paper barrier after not even bothering to wash his hands was a first for me.

Eeeewww. You've gotta wash your hands! And what is this business with thinking that his parts are clean enough that he doesn't need to wash them, but he does need to protect himself from the door handle?!? Guys who don't wash their hands is why you have to paper the door handle anyway. This is just wrong on so many levels, and I feel the only thing that can be done about it is to call for the enactment of several new Man Laws:

1. All men (and women) must wash their hands using soap and warm water -- none of this water only crap -- before leaving the bathroom.
2. To ensure continued cleanliness all users of said restroom shall open the door using a paper towel barrier between their hand and the handle.
3. All restroom facilities must provide a trash can near the door to collect paper towels that have been used to open the door.
4. Paper towel dispensers must operate in a hands-free manner, meaning the paper towel may be acquired without touching any parts such as handles, buttons or triggers to ensure the continued sterility of the hands.
   
5. (Optional, but recommended) Restroom doors shall open out, not in to the restroom. This enables the opening of the door and exit using a foot, elbow, etc. and relieves the need to have a trash receptacle near the door.
   

Mom, Can I Borrow the Credit Card?

Suckers. There, I said it.

Yep, that's right. All of you who paid $19.95 to watch a pay-per-view preview of Madden NFL '07 are nuts.

To the 99.9% of the general public who has no idea what I'm talking about, a subset of a subset of gamers [video game players] have spent/are spending $20 for the right watch a preview the next John Madden video football game. This is like buying a movie ticket and only getting the trailers.

To those who haven't bought the pay-per-view but are thinking about it: Guess what kids, this year's game is going to be a lot like the '06 version! But hey, if you need to spend 20 bucks to find out that the Giants uniforms look a heckuva lot like last year's go ahead. Oh, and don't forget to save up the $60-$70 you'll need to cough up to actually play the game when it comes out on the 22nd.

From the LA Times:

Using pay-per-view television to promote a consumer product is unprecedented.

But EA Sports and ESPN, who have partnered to make the special that is available at 5 p.m. on satellite and cable television pay-per-view channels as well as ESPN.com, are quick to discount the notion that it is little more than an infomercial that costs $19.95.

"There is a critical difference between this show and an infomercial," said Geoff Reiss, senior vice president in charge of ESPN's original entertainment division. "An infomercial tries to get you to buy a product. The viewers who pay for this program do not need to be sold. Most of them will be lined up outside a Best Buy, or wherever, at midnight on Aug. 22 to buy the game."

So...yep, he thinks they're suckers too.

I like to think I'm fairly marketing-saavy and have half an idea of what people will and will not do, but this one is totally beyond me.

Madden ought to just be charging those turduckens and anything else he fills the Madden Cruiser with right to the personal credit card of anyone stupid enough to pay for this thing because he obviously has a direct line to those wallets.

Toyota Gets It

From the NY Times:

Fuel-Efficient Cars Help Toyota to Strong Profits

By MARTIN FACKLER
TOKYO, Aug. 4 — Toyota Motor Company said its income jumped 39.2 percent to $3.2 billion during the second quarter, boosted by strong sales of fuel-efficient vehicles in the United States, where it passed Ford Motor Company in July sales to rank as the second-biggest automaker behind General Motors.

Toyota, which already ranks as No. 2 in the world, appears on pace to pass G.M. as the world’s biggest auto company, perhaps as soon as this year.

Toyota, which earned $2.3 billion in last year’s second quarter, said its revenue rose 13.2 percent while its vehicle sales rose nearly 8 percent worldwide, to just over 2 million.

'Why I don't understand this...this is just...just...shocking. Americans don't want fuel efficient cars! They want horsepower, SUVs you need a step ladder to get into, and maybe a hemi!'

Sorry American auto industry -- you just don't get it and Toyota does.

Toyota for years now has been offering good looking, good performing, low maintenance, fuel efficient cars. They get it, and after being pounded over the head by skyrocketing gas prices the dull-witted American consumer has finally figured it out too. It is possible to have a comfortable car that gets more than 15 mpg.

One can't help but be saddened by the fact that the richest country in the world is lagging so far behind when it comes to developing and implementing energy saving technologies. Toyota has been coming up fast in the American auto industry's rear view mirror for some time now. One can't help but think Detroit won't "get" it until a Corolla blows by them in the left lane.

Reserve Your E-Mail Name Now!

Cox News Service:

Internet pioneer AOL announced a fundamental strategy shift Wednesday, saying it will remove the last barriers surrounding its subscription services and give away its once members-only e-mail accounts and software.

That's right, if you act now you can still reserve yodaswookiegroomer1138@aol.com!

Castro Illness

From the AP:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- A senator Wednesday said President Bush told him the administration was caught off guard by the announcement Monday of Castro's illness...

"The president's comment was that everybody was caught by surprise, and we'll have to wait and see" what U.S. action is necessary, said Sen. Robert Bennett, R-Utah, of his White House meeting with Bush on Tuesday. "I think all of us can say we had no idea this was coming."

No! We didn't know he was ill?!? Didn't he have the decency to complain about stomach pains? Ask for some Pepto...? Something...